What Am I Living For
by Melancholing
Summary: What else can Sasuke live for if he ever comes back to the village? NaruSasu.
1. Chapter 1

Pretty short, and only two or three chapters long. I just keep wondering how Sasuke's life would be like **_IF_** he ever came back to Konoha. This is not what I'm predicting, but whatever, I wrote it anyway. Enjoy.

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><p><strong>What Am I Living For<strong>

**-Chapter One-**

Sandals dragged along the rough dirt road of Konoha, head bowed down to avoid the scorching heat of the afternoon sun. The summer heat was giving him sunburns, and he was more than willing to find a shade to cover himself under, if it weren't for the fact that he was more desperate on his quest to find a certain Hokage.

Not that he was ANBU or anything; the Konoha Council would rather overthrow Naruto than promote him, not even to Chunnin rank. He was just a normal villager free-loading in that idiot's house, doing nothing but housework in that messy apartment of his. It was a boring life, but then again he didn't know what else to do. Taking up a job would be losing more of his pride to the villagers, and he didn't want that.

He hissed at the sunburn on his left forearm, and tried to tuck it under his shirt. He was the last Uchiha alive anyway, there was no kin left to tell him about Uchiha dignity.

Footsteps became louder behind him, and Sasuke turned around to see Sakura in a pink hoodie running towards him. Her face was flushed from the heat, but she still had her smile on nonetheless. 'Sasuke-kun, what are you doing here?'

Sasuke stared at her with a blank expression for a long minute, before he replied, 'Taking a walk.'

Sakura tried not to roll her eyes. It wasn't long since the Fourth Great Shinobi War had ended, and Sasuke's ass dragged back to Konoha, but everyone could tell his life revolved around Naruto. She suspected him on his search again just so he could finally give that stubborn ninja his bento. It had to be hidden somewhere under that baggy clothing of his.

'Naruto-kun just came back from training in the Academy grounds and is now back in his office.'

Curse bad timings.

'I wasn't looking for that dobe.' But Sasuke still turned to walk towards the Hokage Tower anyway, which Sakura smiled at after he had his back to her. Their "friendship" is very peculiar in a sweet way.

Suddenly she remembered, and silently gasped at her mistake for telling Sasuke of Naruto's current location.

Bad timing indeed.

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><p>Under Naruto's orders, Sasuke has free entry into the Hokage's Office as long as the Rokudaime is in reign. He didn't give much care about the ANBU guarding on both sides of the doors, and reached for the handle.<p>

Suddenly, a kunai was aimed at his throat. Sasuke made no move or showed any sign of retreating.

'I advise you don't go in there, traitor.'

Black pupils turned to glance at brown, which lay behind the mask of a dog. 'It better be nothing personal, Kiba-san, or I promise…'

'You can promise nothing. Naruto would be better off without you.'

Sasuke could only glare. If he started to attack, he would be sent to treason, Naruto persisting or not.

Suddenly, the doors burst open, and a flash of orange pounced outwards and took Sasuke into a tight embrace. 'Teme, where my lunch aaaaaat?'

Before Sasuke could answer, a hand was tucked into the hidden inner pocket of his shirt, and the friction of skin on his stomach made him gasp silently. He quickly hid his expression behind his long bangs and one arm.

Naruto was about to pull his arm away when he saw the sunburn. 'Sasuke.' He grabbed it by the wrist, and examined it. 'Where did you go, teme? How long have you been exposed to the sun?'

Sasuke still couldn't admit he spent the last hour trying to find Naruto. He just looked away, refusing to say a word.

'Come on, I think Tsunade-baachan left some cream behind in the drawers when she retired.' Taking Sasuke and his lunch, he led him back into the office. While walking past Kiba, he gave Kiba a glance of triumph.

After the doors closed, Naruto demanded that Sasuke sit on the Hokage's chair, while he went around the room searching for some medication. Sasuke noticed Hinata also in the other end of the room fidgeting. She must've been conversing with Naruto before he came in, which explains Kiba's intrusion on his entry. He sure was protective of her.

'I found it! Sasuke-teme, I found it!' Naruto took the ointment to his side, and quickly squeezed a small amount out of the tube. He took Sasuke's arm again, and applied it. 'Sorry, Hinata-chan, but Sasuke needs me for the moment.' He smiled at the other occupant of the room.

'I-it's okay, I was t-the one who intruded in the f-first place.'

Naruto gave Sasuke another one of his big grins. 'We're discussing about a proposition, nothing village-related, hehe.'

A proposition? Is it about business? Unlikely, they're freaking ninja, not businessmen. Or perhaps an alliance or something similar of the sort… or maybe Hinata finally got the courage to propose to this dobe. Who would figure even this kind of man would get married one day, but for Hinata to have that kind of confidence is like Chouji finally agreeing to diet. What was he thinking; anything could be possible as long as Naruto is there to change it.

Of course, when they get married, Naruto would drag Sasuke to be his best-men for sure, and he'd have to look after the ring. After that, he's going to be questioned for opinions on a new apartment…

Wait. That would mean Sasuke would have to move out.

Not just out of Naruto's apartment, but his life.

'Sasuke? Oi, teme. TEME.'

Naruto pinched his hand, and Sasuke hissed. 'What, dobe?'

'You can go home now. I have to talk to Hinata-chan in private. I…'

Before Naruto could say anything more, Sasuke was gone out of the window.

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><p><strong><em>To Be Continued<em>**


	2. Chapter 2

This is starting to look random. o_0 Excuse me for my boredom and lack of length in this story. This could end badly, but whatever. Or maybe...

_It could go on forever._

Pardon my suckish literature . xP

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><p><strong>What Am I Living For <strong>

**-Chapter Two**-

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><p><em>What in the name of Itachi was he doing? <em>

His chakra was sealed away and almost destroyed, and now he was _stuck_ on the rooftop of the Hokage tower, which was plenty of height off the ground. But he'd rather stay here forever than go back to face Naruto. Besides, he could be talking about their marriage right now, so it was best he didn't interrupt.

This was the first time he felt really useless. He could tell more ANBU were eyeing his every move from elsewhere surrounding the Hokage Tower, and probably sniggering at the almighty Uchiha now stuck on the rooftop like a stray cat. Trying to keep what remained of his horribly shattered pride, Sasuke carefully walked around the outer perimeter of the Tower, and slid himself down with the help of a rusty pipe, making him landing on solid ground still gracefully as ever.

But this time, there were no fangirls there to swoon over him, only dark stares from the villagers that walked past him.

This must be what Naruto had endured when he was a kid.

Funny, how their fate was so different, yet so similar.

Bowing his head again, Sasuke started to walk himself back to Naruto's apartment.

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><p><em>During the period when he was taken back to Konoha, Sasuke spent six long months under the watch of ANBU, but he could still hear the rumors that Naruto was giving everything he's got to let him stay. <em>

_Whispers surrounded him, haunting him. What was Naruto expecting from him when…if he was allowed to stay? He had no plans to revive the Uchiha clan, also considering the fact that none of the kunoichi liked him anymore, not even as a comrade. He had no life here. It was no use making him stay. He'd rather kill himself. _

_There was only one person left whispering. At first, he couldn't make out the words, but he could tell it was Naruto. _

_He suddenly felt the fear of his only friend leaving him, and he reached out. _

'NARUTO!'

_The lights suddenly blinded him, and Sasuke collapsed again back on his hospital bed. Naruto's arm was in both of his hands, and he turned to see blue eyes frowning at him. He hoped it was out of worry, not disappointment and disgust. _

_Why __was __he__ so _scared?

'_Teme, why'd you kill yourself?' Naruto hollered, but he didn't hit Sasuke. The injured of the two wished he did. 'You're an Uchiha! That was not the way a ninja would die! Hitting your head on the wall, isn't that embarrassing?' _

'_Maybe if I died, I wouldn't have to endure that shame!' Sasuke cried. 'What are you doing to me, Naruto? What do you want from me? No one in this village wants me anymore, why do you still want to bring me back?' _

_His__ whole__ body__ trembled, __and __his__ nose __felt __clogged.__ He __let__ go __of__ the __other__'__s__ arms,__ and __looked __away.__ He__ could __feel__ himself __breaking__ down,__ bit __by __bit, __in__ front __of __the __very __man __that __chased __after __him __for __years. _

Vulnerable,_ that__'__s__ the __word __he __wanted__ to __find._

'**Why can't you live for yourself, Sasuke?' **

_Was what Naruto asked, before he left him in his ward, alone to face the silence again._

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><p>The jingling of house keys made Sasuke blink back into the presence. With instinct he picked the middle key of the ring, and unlocked the door into the apartment that smelled of old books and ramen.<p>

He couldn't walk into the place. He just stood on the welcome mat outside, and stared. The curtains were still open, letting sunlight shine on the clean and polished living room, which was a heap of mess and ramen before Sasuke cleaned it that morning. The bedroom was also in sight from the entrance, the door also ajar. The makeshift bed was tucked in a darker corner, the other bed only inches away.

Is this the life he wanted to live? To be always looked down upon for his past sins, forever under Naruto's wing?

Soon, after his marriage with Hinata, all this will be gone.

Leaving the door open, Sasuke started to turn around slowly, towards the flight of stairs.

Then he broke into a run.

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><p>Naruto decided to enter his apartment through the window tonight, along with the thought of cooking dinner for himself and that bastard, since he had that sunburn on him. Whistling as he went, the Hokage quickened his pace and dashed across the rooftops of the village.<p>

He finally stopped by a building fairly taller before him, and he jumped onto the wall, starting to focus chakra on his feet. He slowly walked to the side of his apartment window, and decided to scare Sasuke.

No sounds of television were heard, but there was the faint tapping of footsteps. Giggling, Naruto was about to pounce when a stern female voice yelled at him, which caught him completely off guard.

'Naruto, get in here_ right now!'_

The prankster lost his chakra control and footing, and yelped in surprise. But he still managed to catch the frame in time to prevent from a fatal fall. He crawled in, and Sakura had to help pull him by his Jounin vest into the living room. He could only smile sheepishly as a greeting.

'Ehehe, what are you doing in our apartment, Sakura-chan?'

The woman gave him an angry glare, and pulled him closer with her fist on the front of his uniform. With their faces dangerously close, she jabbed a finger at the entrance, and hissed in a deadly tone,

'I came to give Sasuke-kun some medicine on his sunburn, only to find the apartment door wide open with the keys still in the lock. If you don't explain what's going on now-'

Suddenly, Naruto bursted into a frenzy of panic.

**_'Sasuke is missing?'_ **

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><p><strong>To Be Continued.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

...That was fast, I know. Nothing much to say. Except that it gets a little bit longer as each chapter goes. And that the time skips came too soon. Hope I improve. =_= I feel so emo. No wonder the story is so pointless.

I have decided. This is going to be endless until I run out of inspiration. Prepare for a crappy ending in God knows how many crappy chapters.

Oh, and I keep forgetting the disclaimer thingy. _**DISCLAIM**_

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><p><strong>What Am I Living For<strong>

**-Chapter Three**-

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><p>Naruto had no idea where to start. Sasuke never went anywhere besides Ichiraku's, the grocery store down the street and the Hokage Tower. And thanks to his childhood experience, he knew that if he started asking the villagers around of Sasuke's presence, they would take this to their advantage and do unspeakable things to him, like they did Naruto in the earlier years.<p>

So the only choice left was to search through the whole village, with only the help of Sakura, later joined by Hinata, whose presence in the search also attracted Neji, Shino and an unwilling Kiba. Soon, a lot of Naruto's childhood friends joined into Sasuke's search.

But Naruto could tell they didn't do it for Sasuke, but for him. Sensible people Shikamaru and Neji couldn't see how Sasuke can be of any help with his presence back in Konoha. As a missing nin he is restricted from any kind of ninja duty, and of course he would never give himself in to some job lower than that kind of rank.

They only put up with this, because no one wants a frustrated Hokage that refuses to do their work over some useless man that was supposed to be held prisoner under the order of the Council.

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><p><em>To go such lengths for your best friend, that is truly some sort of bond. If either of them was born a girl, they'd definitely go beyond that line. And this is why I don't want to be in a relationship, they're just too troublesome. <em>

'Shikamaru, have you found him?' Neji landed next to the lazy bum on the branch of a tree. They paired up and volunteered to look around the perimeter of the village, which was actually the easiest task, because the sight of people is rare in those parts of the village.

Shikamaru only gave a little shake of his head. 'It's going to be sundown soon, but I doubt Naruto would give up.'

'Of course. It just isn't him to do so.' Neji also settled to a comfortable sitting position beside him, letting his legs dangle in midair. What lay ahead of them was the huge wall surrounding Konoha, along with a huge ground of forest behind it. The late afternoon sky was starting to dim, and the temperature finally gave mercy and decreased. 'I don't think there's a reason for Sasuke to live, not in any of our eyes.'

'I don't think. I _know.__'_ Shikamaru replied without a single doubt. 'I also know Naruto knows this. Think from his view, Neji. He lived to kill, first his brother, and soon enough Konoha. After the war, unless he planned to revive the Uchiha clan, he has no reason left to live.'

'I'm sure everyone has thought of that. At times I even pity that Uchiha. Forced to live in a village he was supposed to destroy, under the watch of someone that used to be a stubborn prankster. Ha, some sort of fate he ended up with.'

'Somehow like Naruto…don't you think?' Shikamaru then yawned. 'Their friendship is too troublesome to think. Let's go back and tell Naruto what we found now.'

So they came to their feet together, and started dashing off, the sound of their footsteps fading as they tapped against the barks of the trees.

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><p>Among the thicker side of the canopy, a pair of eyes closed as tight as they could. As if in pain, the man started to grab fistfuls of hair as well, silently groaning as the whispers came back into his mind, taunting him as he leaned against the trunk, holding his tears back.<p>

'_Live __to __kill__…__ Uchiha__…__ no __reason __left__… __fate __he__ ended __up __with__…__ somehow __like__…__Naruto__…_Naruto…

'Naruto.' The name tasted like ramen as it rolled off his lips, and he said it again, despite his constant hatred for that flavor.

'Naruto. Naruto. Naruto.'

Sasuke chanted, and he could no longer hold back. He never cried this much before. He was leading such a pathetic life.

'Maybe, if I had lived another life…' he looked upwards, to see green leaves complimenting the now pink sky. A new life, somewhere where he didn't have a fate to follow, where he could live freely like anyone else.

He wondered if Naruto was ever depressed enough to think of these, these thoughts that Sasuke was currently thinking of right now.

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><p>Sakura chased after Naruto, cursing for the stamina he had, both mental and physical.<p>

'Naruto, it's been an hour since sundown, and four since we started our search. Maybe Sasuke-kun could be home by now. Everyone had said that they couldn't find him.'

'You can go home first if you want, Sakura-chan, but I want to continue searching for Sasuke-teme.'

He didn't even glance back to see Sakura stop in her run. The kunoichi just looked sadly as her teammate ran towards the village gates, his figure getting smaller and smaller, until it disappeared around the corner of a building.

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><p>'Teme! Why of all places you have to be in here? Everyone was looking for you!'<p>

Sasuke had long since stopped crying, and just woke up from his little nap. His mind was still all a blur as his friend continued to ramble on about nonsense. He could see all the orange in front of him, and somehow the simple sight of that had comforted him.

'Come on, teme, we gotta go home. How'd you climb up here without any chakra anyway?' Naruto started to take Sasuke by his underarm, and the other man tried to stand up by himself. But sitting in the same position for too long gave him numb feet. So he lost his footing, and was about to slip off the branch.

He saw only a great amount of green below him, and the height reminded him of himself at the Hokage Tower earlier that afternoon. It took him a while to progress that he was being pulled by the waist, and if it weren't for that grip, he'd have fallen to his death.

'Sasuke-teme, you've gained weight, tebayo.' Naruto groaned, and suddenly…

He disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

And so, Sasuke started to descend quickly, towards hard, solid ground.

His vision suddenly became sharper, and the night sky was suddenly so clear to his eyes. The stars looked beautiful tonight, and Sasuke started crying again.

There was no one to save him from his darkness, after all.

Closing his eyes, he embraced for his fall.

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><p>'Aaaaaahhh, get him, get him!'<p>

'To the left, no no, _my_ left, not yours!'

'Sasukeeeee!'

_**THUMP!**_

There were weird sounds of bodies bumping and piling on the dry grass of the forest ground, and soon enough, Sasuke was rolling off the top of the pile, groaning as he was surrounded in more smoke. The whines had lessened, but not completely gone.

Both bodies lay on the narrow field in the dark, their limbs spread wide apart like snow angels. The night wind started to blow, and Sasuke could _feel_ the person beside him smiling. They never exchanged glances, eyes only for the sky before them. It was a moonless night, or so it seemed, with the trees narrowing their view from all directions.

Suddenly, he felt fingers intertwine with his.

The touch was firm, yet trying to tell that they're gentle, and that they meant no harm.

It sent jolts up to every bone of his body, like when he was making a Chidori, except in a reverse order. It felt…like ecstasy.

_What__ is __Naruto __doing, __toying__ with __my __mind __and__ feelings?_

Sasuke still didn't dare to look at Naruto, and was unsure about returning the touches of affection, which just made their terms of friendship even weirder.

But one thing he did know, it was that the presence of Naruto had gave him better sleep, despite the lack of humidity in the grass.

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><p><em><strong>To Be Continued.<strong>_


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